Testament Thursday
Testament is defined as proof or to be a witness. And the
month of January we will feature individuals who are witnesses to the
power and providence of God in their lives.
Our last feature for the month is someone very special to me,
my cousin, Shaneil Brown of Charlotte, NC. She is bearing witness to how
we live our lives in front of our children has a "generational" affect. She shares how the power of God delivered her from an alternative lifestyle and how He can bring healing and freedom. Our hope is that her testament of victory inspires and encourages you to "Break the Curse".
"Break the Curse"
Growing up both of my parents were absent due to their own issues. My maternal grandmother raised me and loved me unconditionally. She always kept me in church and taught me all I needed to know about salvation. I had everything I could ever want. However, I still yearned and searched for the love that my parents didn't give me. I had my first child at the age of 19. May 2001, I walked across the stage four months pregnant determined to do what some said I couldn't do was to graduate, raise my daughter and enjoy life. I felt like I owed my daughter what my parents never gave me. But, my relationship with my daughter’s father didn't make it a year after her birth. I was so hurt and bitter I told him that, “I would never be with another man.” My words really didn't have much meaning to me when I said them. At least that’s what I thought. But as Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue." As I look back, I realize what I spoke into my life.
As Christians, we must be careful what we speak into our lives. What I spoke quickly came into existence. I begin to reach out and change my circle of friends. I started going to alternative clubs and seeking any and every thing to numb my pain. I begin to date women. I got so deep into this lifestyle I avoided some of my family. I particularly avoided my paternal grandmother who was a Pastor. I knew she would love me despite my lifestyle choices, but I also knew she wasn't going to play any games and she was going to bring to me the unadulterated truth. December 5, 2008, changed everything for me.
I received the official call that my paternal grandmother was called home to heaven. I knew how hard she worked to get there, however, I was sad and extremely hurt. Words will never explain the pain. When I came home from Miami, where my grandmother closed her eyes; I knew my life had to change. I knew that all that I was taught and believed was not displayed in my lifestyle. And the woman I had been dating almost five years was right by my side. I had to pray and build courage to tell her I could no longer be in a relationship with her. I could not only hear my grandmother, but see her. She didn't haunt me, but she spoke into my life more than she ever had while she was living. At the time, I felt like I had everything to lose and so much to gain. I ended the romantic relationship with that young lady, but I maintain a platonic and friendly relationship with her. In this decision I broke a generational curse. You see my mother also experienced an alternative lifestyle. I saw her living this when I was younger. By letting go of my pain and the hurt and letting GOD become the center of my life, I broke a generational curse over me, my daughter and my future seeds.
I encourage anyone who is living and doing anything that keeps them bound to pray, seek God, and most importantly develop your own relationship with him. He will be your mother, father, friend, lover, your all and all; only if you let him.
Shaneil Brown is a member of Powerful Forces consisting of two other brilliant young ladies, Dosheia Mitchell & Nikki Richardson. They are from diverse backgrounds and have come together to spread awareness on life's experiences and struggles to other young women and men. They are on a mission to uplift teenagers and young women thru public speaking and written literature. You will be able to read more of Shaneil's story thru their soon to be published book titled "Young, Dumb, and Naive". You can read more about these "powerful forces" via their website: http://powerfulforces.webs.com